Active School Shooter Safety

Sometimes we can summarize the logic of a nation with a publicly shared picture on Facebook. An active school shooter safety plan that includes desk barricades and tennis balls? What could go wrong?

A rage-style 2 pane comic showing people seeking answers after another mass shooting on a school.

Will Oregon’s shooting accomplish what Sandy Hook did not? Doubtful.

I’d like to say that I leave my elementary-aged kids at their school, and never once consider that they might be shot and killed by an armed gunman. But I live in America, so I can’t say that. However, thanks to Mr. Compton’s timely advice on active school shooter safety after the events in Oregon–I know what to do.

Instead of worrying myself over gun permits, legal loopholes, a failing public and mental health system, I will shift my focus to a different kind of training. Starting tomorrow, I’ll instruct my (6- and 8-year-old) children that if an active school shooter shows up in their classroom, they should pummel him with balls. I’m gonna teach them to WIN instead of huddling in FEAR OF THEIR LIVES. This is the most obvious solution. I’m sad I didn’t think of it myself.

Sarcastic response to using desk barricades and tennis balls as an Active School Shooter Safety Plan.

Balls vs. Bullet. Be a WINNER!